i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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