hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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