Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
