I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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