It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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