This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
