if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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