i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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