If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
