She announced her abortion via fbk
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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