Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she smelled like a LAN party
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
