Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just threw up on my dentist
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My life is pants optional.
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