Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We need to get me chipped asap
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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