So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
