so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
