thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
