I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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