Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
