You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
