Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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