It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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