They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
