Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
