Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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