shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
