So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's never too late to be topless.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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