I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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