Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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