To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
cat food counts as protein by the way
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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