Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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