I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
