the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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