My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
honey bunches of taint.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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