Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
