it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
