Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
