But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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