What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
