I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
