I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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