You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
