I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
