Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
