I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
