Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
