I wish you could order shots online.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
