They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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