I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
