Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
