my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
