I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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