you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
