you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
